


The Girl in the Fairytale

by justbygrace



Series: Post GitF [1]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Canon verse, F/M, GITF rewrite, except for no Reinette, it's basically crack, or Mickey, or clockwork anything, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-29 12:23:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8489518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justbygrace/pseuds/justbygrace
Summary: A silly, cracky rewrite of GitF. Reinette does not actually put in an appearance.If I remember correctly, I absolutely did not set out to write this and I haven't the slightest idea how it happened.





	

The last thing the Doctor expected to find were carnivorous red roses standing guard over his Rose deep in a chemically induced slumber lying in a glass case sitting on an altar deep in the forest. He rubbed the back of his neck and tried to think.

The idea of going to Disney - the planet - had been her idea and for once the TARDIS had agreed, landing them gently and securely. That really should have been his first clue that things were about to go very, very wrong, but he had ignored the flashing mauve light in his brain and had ventured out of the doors with Rose.

From the beginning it had been an unmitigated disaster. He hadn't really had cause to come to this planet before (and he had a feeling some of his previous selves would be appalled if they could see him - he would just unleash Rose Tyler on them and seen how long they could hold their ground) and he was not at all prepared for the realistic versions of all of the Disney characters. As if Prince Eric and Hercules and Flynn and Aladdin weren't bad enough, all flocking around Rose like they had nothing better to do, Rose was completely taken by the Beast because of course she was. Any other day he would be been thrilled at this demonstration of caring for the least handsome of the Princes, but today was not any other day and it rankled him greatly.

Rose declared the Beast charming and wonderful and hung on his arm until the Doctor was ready to challenge him to a duel on the spot. Rose must have picked up on his mood because she eventually came back to his side, patting his arm in that way she had that meant she knew something he didn't and he never liked it even at the best of times and now he really hated it. In fact, he had groused and growled so much that eventually she had shaken her head at him and declared she was going off shopping until his mood improved. He was greatly insulted by this because his mood was just fine thanks, it was her actions that were causing his mood and...and then he realized she was long gone in the crowd and he was growling at a terrifyingly good-looking Hades and decided he was better off taking his mood elsewhere.

He had stormed around for a bit, glaring at some pirates and the Aristocats and a lot of small children, until he had finally calmed down enough to start enjoying the sights. After that he was sad that Rose wasn't there to enjoy the sights with him (a voice in his head that sounded northern said something about it being his own damn fault, but he blocked it out) because she would have enjoyed the Hundred Acre Woods characters and Mickey and Minnie and was that? It was! Simba and Nala and Mufasa and Scar and Timon and Pumbaa and the Doctor forgot about everything that wasn't Lion King related for quite some time.

It wasn't until a very touching reenactment between Simba and Nala that the Doctor's fingers reflexively closed around thin air and he started to become very concerned because according to his Internal Rose Clock it had been exactly one hour, twelve minutes and thirty-one seconds since he had laid eyes on Rose and that was definitely unacceptable. Countering the voices in his head using words like over-protective and domestic with "but she's jeopardy friendly," he set off to look for her, scanning the crowd for Rose's perfect blonde hair and perfect smile and perfect...anyway. 

When it was over two hours since he had last seen her, the Doctor began to mildly freak out, racing through the crowd and knocking over jungle animals and clockwork toys and dwarves. The last two times he had left her alone had resulted in Cassandra stealing her body and an unfortunate encounter with a werewolf and he was not sure that she was over Sarah Jane and the whole school reunion thing quite yet either. They hadn't really had time to talk about it yet either. Not that they had put a great deal of effort into doing any actual talking; they had spent all of the days between the school and this planet running and saving people and generally being heroes, but he felt like she hadn't actually forgiven him for not telling her about his past companions and for stuff left unsaid and oh bugger, now he had up and abandoned her because of the Lion King, of all things. 

It occurred to him that there was an awful lot of fluttering witches and hold up, was that a display for spinning wheels? He skidded to a halt and stared at it for a solid moment while his brain tried to figure out what was going on before he realized that the crowd was starting to get that calm-before-the-storm feel as if they were about to head off and Do Important Things. Turning to a random passerby, he enquired as to what was going on and was told that it was the annual retelling of Sleeping Beauty and he might want to hurry because all the best seats usually got taken first.

His impressive Time Lord brain swiftly put two and two together and got A Very Bad Thing and he began shoving his way through the crowd in his haste to get there first. There was a large castle on the hill all covered in thorns and he was certain that was the destination of the crowd, but he was utterly shocked when it appeared they were headed towards the woods. Finding another member of the excited crowd, he demanded to know exactly which fairy tale they were reenacting because Sleeping Beauty took place in the castle last time he checked. He was informed quite haughtily that the castle was closed for renovations because Prince Phillip took his role too seriously last time and hacked a hole through the floor.

Shaking his head, the Doctor continued on his way and finally broke through the crowd only to find a motley collection of young men standing around listening to instructions about how to rescue the Princess. The leader apparently took the Doctor's sudden appearance as a latecomer to the performance and signed him up as a contender. Before the Doctor could protest or ask questions or even size up his opponents, the man shoved them all behind a tree and started reading from an impressive-looking scroll to the gathered crowd.

The princes were a bit grumpy about having to explain the rules to the Doctor - one of them asked if he hadn't read about this in the guidebook - but rattled them off anyhow. No steroids or drugs in your system, always over-perform for the audience, the first one to the Princess wins her forever, and no causing bodily harm to your opponents. Before he had suitable time to react to these rules (and the one about winning the Princess forever was causing him great unrest), the leader of the production called them all back out, lined them up, and yelled "go!" 

It was apparently a foot race down a pre-designated path. There was a crowd all along the way and clearly marked signs and the Doctor was suddenly extremely thankful that he'd made a career out of running and for his respiratory bypass system. The path wound through the woods, occasionally climbing a tree or going down the middle of the stream, once crossing a thin rope bridge and once having to bypass a cave where a dragon was clearly blowing out smoke and fire. The crowd was quite delighted with him, cheering and shouting and, when he did a double-back maneuver that sent one of the contenders face down in the mud, screaming out their appreciation for him.

He and a Prince Phillip reached the clearing at the same time. The altar and the glass case and the very pale Rose was enough for the Doctor to fling himself to her side, only to be stabbed by the roses and their thorns (and that was an irony he had no time to dwell on). The tie was apparently something neither the judges nor the crowd had considered and they stared at each other in bewilderment. Several people shouted for a duel, but the people shouting for a royal kiss were louder. The Prince Phillip wasn't a fan of that, apparently her sleep was chemically-induced and would wear off should she be kissed by the one her heart desired (or a quick antidote of the anti-chemical on a normal day). 

The Doctor was a bit wary about allowing Prince Phillip try first, but he won the coin toss fair and square (and the Doctor was certain that somewhere Walt Disney was rolling over in his grave, in fact, that was where he was going to take Rose next - provided she didn't wake up and go off with Prince Phillip first). Thankfully, Phillip failed and the Doctor stepped up to the glass case nervously. Staring down at Rose it occurred to him that he would very much like to kiss her at some point when she was fully conscious and cognizant and consenting and, okay, he was just stalling now.

Bending over, he pressed his lips gently to Rose's and then a bit more firmly as he felt again the soft plushness of them, the taste that was uniquely her. When he felt her lips part, he couldn't resist a tiny swipe of his tongue against hers until he realized that her mouth had only opened because she was coughing and so he hastily stood up.

Rose was less than pleased about waking up in a glass box surrounded by a crowd of excited people frantically taking pictures of her and a lot of her ire seemed to be directed at the Doctor. He did a lot of fast talking where he used a great deal of big words concerning her health and the effects the chemical might have on her long-term health (a fact he wasn't actually all too sure about himself) and they eventually released them to make the walk back to the TARDIS.

Once they had left the crowd behind, they exchanged stories. Rose had wandered around the marketplace for awhile, but when she had caught sight of the Lion King characters had come looking for him and had run into a princess asking for sewing advice. She thought they hit her on the head. The Doctor told his story, being suitably apologetic especially when he heard her reaction to the Lion King display. When he got to the part about the kiss and the heart's desire thing, she was less surprised or agitated than he had expected and merely nodded resignedly. 

They were nearly back to the TARDIS when she paused mid-step and stared at him. "How long was I gone?"

"Five and half hours," he admitted, hand going to the back of her neck.

She said nothing, only continued on her way. He couldn't let it go.

"I am sorry, Rose."

"Good. Next time don't leave me waiting while you go on a Lion King extravaganza," she told him, using her key to unlock the TARDIS.

"I will never do it again," he promised. "Also, did you want to try that kiss again? Since we're both conscious and also a lot of other really great c words?"

"What?" She stared at him as if he had grown another head for so long that he reached up just to make sure he hadn't.

"Um, did you want to try the kiss again?" He thought he had been clear, but perhaps not.

"Ask me again in five and a half hours," she said. "I have to go shower now."

That was fair. He waited until she was a few steps down the hall. "Will it take you five and a half hours to shower?"

The only response was her laughter, but it was the agreeable sort that meant probably she would still agree to the kiss, if he didn't do anything stupid between now and then. Turning to the console, he shook his head at his ship. It was all her fault anyway. The ship blinked at him, seeming to giggle and mutter something about France and clockwork robots and saving him from a far worse fate that made no sense. He shrugged and set the coordinates to pick up Mickey. They had promised him a nice trip once he had fully recovered from Deffry Vale and he had a feeling that Mister Mickey would like Mister Disney very much indeed. But there was really no rush, after all, he had an appointment with Rose Tyler in a couple of hours.


End file.
